A Break From The Squishiness.

M dropped me off at home around 10ish last night after taking me to dinner and a movie. I got up to my front door, put the key in the lock, turned it and started crying. Just like that...for no reason. He'd been asking me if I was ok and what was wrong all night, telling me I looked sad and that he didn't like it when I looked like that, but I didn't have anything to say because nothing was exactly wrong. I have very little to complain about, except the ongoing issue of never having enough money, and I'm happier now than I've been in I don't even know how long. Obviously, there's something eating at me and it has yet to surface. I haven't remembered my dreams lately and there's usually some clarity in the ones I do remember, so I must be holding something back from my conscious mind. I'm so wrapped up in feeling loved and wonderful that I'm blocking out reality maybe...who knows. The crying freaked me out a bit, though. I don't like losing control of my emotions and I definitely don't like thinking there must be something wrong with me that I can't put my finger on. I spent a good half hour questioning everything good in my life last night and that's just not right.