Old habits are hard to break

As much as I've been making a conscientious effort to stop overanalyzing things, it's really difficult to keep my head clear after so many years of second guessing myself. Going with the flow and not worrying about matters of the heart have never been my strong points, so changing a major part of one's character is not quite the piece of cake I'd hoped it would be. It's like I'm being pulled in opposite directions by my head and heart and I'm trying to find a way to listen to both without turning into Sibyl. I find myself falling back into the old "I-am-such-an-idiot" attitude and dammit, I don't like it. Ok, so he hasn't called or e-mailed. It's only been 3 days. Yeah, I don't have an easy time trusting people and I gave him a level of trust I've never given anyone. He could easily have betrayed that and he didn't. I put my heart on a silver plate and served it with a nice garnish of honesty and vulnerability. I've never done that before and he made it really easy. See, this all sounds fan-frickin'-tastic, right? Why am I freaking out? Who the hell am I talking to?!? I was the bastion of emotional strength and confidence while I was in the moment and now I'm the sad bastard in the karaoke bar singing Cheap Trick's "I Want You To Want Me." (which, btw, is one of the best songs ever) Time and distance are not my friends today but, once I have a serious chat with my slowly deflating ego, everything will be peachy keen... "Buck up, little camper! No, of course your butt doesn't look big in those self-doubt pants! You're a rock star! You're bootylicious!" .....yeah, it would probably go someting like that....