There are some things I didn't need to see

What possessed me to go to a fetish night at the Downtown Lounge/Diablo's on a Sunday night I'll never know. I had been asked earlier last week and waffled all week long about it. Finally decided I'd just go and if nothing else, it'd be an excellent venue for people watching. Man oh man, was it ever. When Rick James sang Superfreak, I'm pretty sure he was talking about this chick at the club last night. She had on a very short black vinyl skirt, very tall black vinyl boots, no top (though she did have a pair of metal rings around her breasts connected to some chain links and a collar around her neck and buckled to her torso with leather straps) and a black feathered mask. Her companion was holding the other end of her leash and a boa while they danced. Good times.

The fun came to a crashing halt for me when they started showing bizarro porn on all 4 tvs around the club. At first it was kinda funny....this woman had on a 1950's style house dress and those yellow, elbow length rubber gloves and she was cleaning her kitchen.....for about two seconds.....until she got turned on by her own bad self and the kitchen appliances. The three of us at our table were laughing and making comments along the lines of, "Well, yeah, doesn't everyone clean their kitchen like that?" and "Funny, but my dishwasher just doesn't do it for me...guess I'm more of a microwave kind of girl." And then, out of nowhere, a random shirtless guy comes into her kitchen and puts the woman on the table and presto change-o, she's in bondage gear (did she sneak into the broom closet and change while we weren't looking?), he's nekkid and the camera angles were just wrong.... There are some angles that just shouldn't be shot.

On that note, I'd like to take this opportunity to speak to the adult films industry: Please, for the love of God and all that's holy, stop filming the 'nad cam shots. There's nothing even remotely sexy, attractive, appealing or pretty about a close up shot of some guy's nuts smacking some chick's t'aint. In fact, it's a little disturbing. I understand it's fantasy land and I have no problem with porn in general, but there's just something unnatural about that view of an act that's typically thought of as all good. Dudes, seriously, it's NOT all good. So, please, I'm begging you to rethink using that angle in future films. Thank you.

So, now that I've been visually violated, I'm going to spend the rest of the week trying to reclaim my innocence... Anyone up for a Disney movie?