Post-Christmas Whine

It's the same every year: lots of food, drink, presents and merriment followed by a bloated, melancholy feeling that leads to my post-Christmas whine. Why can't we hibernate for the whole month of January? No holidays after the 1st until the end of May?!?!?! That's five months! Guh. I should have won the lottery by now... Is it 4pm on Friday yet? When is it my turn for a raise? Do I really have to get up and go to work? *whine*

The build up to Christmas high leaves us crashing for a few weeks and inevitably ends in a cold/the flu. My man already has some sort of head and chest gunge with the coughing and sneezing and sniffling... I'm likely a day or three behind as the tickle in my throat is telling of a less than pleasant few days of tissue making a semi-permanent home in my pockets. EmergenC and zinc will become an integral part of breakfast and while my friends are out playing, I'll be laying comatose aside from the occasional nose blowing session.

This year is particularly tough because of the unusual snow and below freezing temperatures that came the week before Christmas and stuck around until the 26th, only to be replaced with dirty streets, 40-something degree temps and an ugly blahness that has washed over the city. To me, the snow was beautiful. And though it caused some folks grief by keeping them indoors for a week, I appreciated the time alone with my sweetie and dog and movies and good food and much needed rest. The normal go-go-go of December was replaced with stay in-stay in-stay in and I loved every minute of it. I suppose I'm just not ready for it to be over.

Reread

I read my paper journal from 4 years ago and can't believe how full of angst I was. How terribly lacking in self confidence I was. How worried about everything I was.

I look at my life now and it seems my worries have become more adult - money, work, when and if I will have babies... all of these things have brought me to one conclusion:

It's time for a beer run. Cheers!

I'm an aunt!

My new nephew, Charlie Oliver Reed, was born today at 7:46pm and came in at 7 lbs and 6 ozs. Now I get to be the cool aunt who lives across the country and takes him to get his first tattoo. Sweet.

I Love Money too

It's a ridiculous show, like pretty much all other "reality" television, but I can't help but watch the train wreck that is I Love Money on VH1. Since I (not proudly) watched the other shows the I Love Money cast were on (Flavor of Love, I Love New York and Rock of Love), I was interested to see what kind of screwed up stuff they'd have these folks do for $250,000. So far, I haven't been disappointed: money booth grab in bikinis (men and women), an american gladiator-style double ended baton fight, a kiss off, and flinging chicken with catapults. I don't know why I like this show, but I can't stop watching.

I'm going to be an aunt soon!

My sister is 8 months pregnant and has been telling me a bit about the lamaze and other classes she and her husband have been going to over the last few weeks. She said they showed the live birth video a few days ago and it made both her and her husband a little queasy. I've seen a few videos of this amazing event and I always cry and feel a bit sick. In fact, I watched three different women give birth in the last 1/2 hour and I started crying during every video! The idea of being pregnant doesn't bother me but the giving birth part scares me shitless. I have anxiety attacks just watching the videos of someone else giving birth and it freaks me out to no end to think of myself doing what they are doing.

In October, we are going to Florida to visit Disney World and my sister, brother-in-law and new nephew. When we get back, I will be going off birth control pills as I am 34 and, if we are going to have kids, we'd like to get started sooner than later. After having a miscarriage last summer, I'm scared of repeating that but the thought of actually giving birth brings me to anxiety-driven tears... so I've been reading about Hypnobabies and water births and anything else I can find about ways to make the process less...anxiety filled. There's some interesting stuff out there...

The heat is making me lazier...if that's possible...

We went to Bullwinkle's last night for Chris's surprise birthday party and had such a fun time! Laser tag, skeeball, and all sorts of other games got the evening going with all-you-can-eat pizza and soda, mini golf, bumper boats and more laser tag to follow. We won a ton of tickets and then the guy working there gave us a bit of a bump up and we won a lava lamp! Woo! All of Chris' friends were really nice and everyone had a blast acting like kids again.

Today is the usual laundry and grocery shopping day and if it weren't for the reprieve from the heat in Matt's parent's basement, I'd be groggy and sweaty and just plain gross feeling. It's at least 10+ degrees cooler in that basement and by the time the movie was done (we watched Half Baked for the Nth time and it's still super funny), I was a little chilly! Crazy! Now, back here at home, it's considerably warmer than that basement but still comfortable inside with the fans pulling a cross breeze through the apartment and bare feet. I need to go up the street for milk and I just don't want to venture out into the sun. We were thinking about going to dodgeball practice today and we just can't seem to find the motivation to do anything but sit and stare at the screens. That's good for writing but not so good for making milk appear in the fridge...

Back from the lake and my back is killing me.

We went out to Lost Lake yesterday and it was a fantastic day. We had a little picnic lunch when we arrived, then rented a rowboat, spent about two hours gliding along the lake and just enjoying the nice weather. Matt rowed most of the time (he's much more coordinated than I am and had been using the rowing machine at the gym so he's had more practice) but for the 15 or 20 minutes that I rowed, I felt like I was doing it wrong. And boy was I right. Today I have a stabbing pain between my shoulder blades and my spine that goes up to my neck. I am such a wuss.

Selling my memories for a pittance...

...leaves me with mixed emotions. On the one hand, garage sales are fun to browse and a great way to make a little extra cash (which I definitely need right now). On the other hand, seeing people look at the treasures, which once held some sort of importance for me, as though they were digging through a dumpster is just... sad and a little painful. Fortunately, I had a side sale of the jewelry I make and got a lot of positive response about it so I ended the sale feeling pretty good about things. Plus, it was fun listening to '50's Hawaiian music (the Reader's Digest Aloha Hawaii 8-track, volume one and two!) and hanging out with Matt. We ordered pizza and enjoyed the sun (he got too much - I stayed in the shade) and made enough to go to the beach tomorrow without feeling like we're blowing our rent money. All in all, it was a good day.

It's weird not having much to say...

I have been so removed from writing that I'm grasping for something of substance to put down here. I feel like I'm second guessing everything I would write as not interesting or not important enough to document... I guess I'm so used to communicating face-to-face about anything of importance to me that it's hard to get back into my own head and let out the inner monologue. I have full, lengthy conversations in my head all the time so it should be easy to translate that to print but everytime I look at the blank page, my mind reflects what I'm looking at and I can't seem to focus on a stream of thought. I'd like to be witty and full of insight about life and being married and having a dog...I'm sure that will come out in time. Until then, I'm going to try to have some adventures that will be fun to write about. Like in the old days... :)

New laptop, same lazy girl

I got a new laptop and I am hoping it will encourage me to get back into writing. We shall see what happens.