I can't believe there's no butter

So, there I was in the office kitchen, waiting for my bagel to finish toasting. I opened the fridge to get out the gigantic tub of margerine for everyone that's usually in there and it's gone. The cream cheese that was in there yesterday got tossed because it was growing a big green afro. The strawberry jam jar is still in there, but it's empty. The individually wrapped pats of butter that were stashed for just such an emergency are nowhere to be found. At that point, I was considering topping my bagel with dijon mustard and pickle juice just so I wouldn't have to choke down dry toast. My stomach was grumbling because I didn't have breakfast and the water I'd been chugging all morning gave me the hiccups so I had to find something to eat. The rest of my lunch consisted of a nectarine, an avocado, a single piece of mild cheddar and a cup of fat free vanilla yogurt. Pathetic. I'd been imagining that bagel, covered in dripping, melted butter that I could lick off the plate when I was done, all morning. *sigh* After a little more digging around, two tiny single serving blackberry jams hidden in a bowl of orange marmalade (eeeww.) surfaced and I figured that was better than old salad dressing and ketchup. It's not so bad if you pick out the seeds....and pretend butter doesn't exist..... *sob*