And Now For Something Completely Different...

Tonight is the first night in about two weeks that I'm staying home. It's not even 8 and already I'm remembering why I go out all the time. I haven't felt much like being alone lately. When I am, I end up thinking about ridiculous things like how much I miss just cuddling up on the couch with someone and watching a movie together. I'm happy enough on my own. I'm independent and don't need to be with anyone. The thing is, I want to be... I miss having a best friend. I miss holding hands. I miss being kissed just before I fall asleep. I miss all of it. So, it's become clear to me that I go out all the time so I don't have to think about it. I can pretend I'm untouchable and don't care about anything if I drink enough and sing enough and listen to people's stories and laugh even when I don't feel like laughing. Here, at home, it's quiet and all I hear is my own annoying head voice reminding me that I'm alone and there's nothing loud enough in this room to drown it out.