When I Left The Bar Last Night…

….and got in the car, the uninvited, unexpected tears started. I’d been careful to keep my distance and keep my eyes wide open but after yesterday morning, I guess I let my guard down and it came back to kick me in the ass. We’ve been honest with each other from the start so if I’m hurt, it’s my own fault. I know he’s not looking for anything serious and he knows I am. We're in agreement that one of us needs to change because there's some kind of a connection there and it would be silly to ignore that. It’s a constant topic of discussion and the reason I won’t even let him kiss me, though he’s made it perfectly clear he’d like to, given the chance... Guh. This is exactly what I didn’t want….a complicated mess of emotional crap. I wish I didn’t like the attention and I wish it didn’t hurt my feelings when I see him giving it to someone else.