Glutton For Punishment

I spent three hours on the phone last night. During this conversation, I was told repeatedly how mean I am and how wrong the people who think I'm nice are. So, I've decided to enroll in the Simon Cowell School of Blunt Honesty. After watching him on American Idol last night, I think I'm ready to try out lesson #1: Saying What You're Thinking. What I've been thinking is this:
First, it bugs the crap out of me that I don't live close enough to the person I was talking to last night for two reasons: A.) I regularly want to grab him and shake the beejeezus out of him, but I obviously can't do that on the phone and B.) I like him him way more than I should so it would be kinda nice to see him whenever I wanted. Second, I thought I knew when he was joking and when he wasn't. Lately, it's become very apparent that I am completely clueless in this department. Third and finally, he makes it very easy to love him and hate him at the same time. He doesn't even know he's doing it. He can be sweet when he wants to, he's intelligent, he's funny, he feels bad when he hurts my feelings, he points out my flaws and blunders, he reminds me constantly of my mistakes and turns them into inside jokes, he challenges my opinions, and he's taught me a thing or two. I really hate that I like those things.

Thanks, Simon, I feel much better.