A Valentine's Day Note

This is to all the girls who say shit like, "If I don't get flowers at work from my boyfriend/husband today, he's so in trouble when I get home." Yeah, bitches, I'm talking to you. People like you don't deserve presents on Valentine's Day because you expect them. You think that the more money your boyfriend or husband spends on you, the more he loves you. Well, that's crap. You're frickin' lucky you have a boyfriend who puts up with your bullshit demands for frivolous stuff that is in no way indicative of love. All they're doing is paying you to shut the hell up and quit bitching at them. So grow up, kids. If you want flowers, go out and buy them for your own damn self.

BTW, thanks for the e-mail, dad! The guy in the little thong looks and dances strangely like you, so it was almost like you were here... ;)