I Don't Want To Be Me Today

All the questions and phone calls and responsibilities that have been forced on me are making my head ache. I have money again and I'm going to the bar early tonight. But the first thing I want to do when I leave this place is step into a hot shower and wash away everything that makes my eyes burn and head hurt and that probably includes you. I want to feel something other than ugly and stepped on and taken for granted. I don't care today if you love me or not. Today my heart aches for all that it's given and not gotten in return. Today I want to be given what I never expect. I want to be kissed because I'm nice, not in spite of the fact. I want a fucking moment.