Baaaaa.

Alright, already. I'm picking a band and playing along. Bummer that I can't use more than one band's lyrics, but I can do this....

0. Band: Catherine Wheel

1. Are you male or female?
Can't you accept this flower hasn't grown?
Kick away the petals and come home
This is all she said
"chrome" from Chrome

2. Describe yourself:
Step inside my head
See how much I see
Feel how much I feel
Just this once I will...
Show you something good
A planet with no roof
The leading edge of truth
It's waiting up there
"broken head" from Chrome

3. How do they feel about you?
all that you're concealing are the things that are good in you
"phantom of the american mother" from Adam and Eve

4. How do you feel about yourself?
I must be confused...
oh its so typical...
some fleshy temptation...
and the sweetness only improves...
so give me something to cover my eyes...
weakness and distress...what am I
"delicious" from Adam and Eve

5. Describe your object of affection?
the way you make me feel
can't remember when my senses were so bent...
tell me your impressed...with my obsessiveness
what am I supposed to do...
bubbles in my fizzy love for you
"fizzy love" from Happy Days

6. What would you rather be doing?
someone said it's easy
and as I sit here with my cup
staring at it as if I'm some crazy poet
when I'm not, I'm just a rock n' roll Joe
"goodbye" from Adam and Eve

7. Describe where you live.
so we all believe what we want to believe in
this is the real thing so dance
every woman and man...in cloud cuckoo land
"what we want to believe in " from Wishville

8. Describe how you love:
you're making me doubt myself
this feeling I know so well
feeling of naked lust
this feeling I love so much
far deep, phantom seeking oh you are
the nude that broke my heart
"the nude" from Chrome

9. Share a few words of wisdom:
I know how to make you happy
take away all your bad habits
take away all of your bullshit
and chip away your porcelain
"intro" from Adam and Eve

Going the distance

Looked at the calendar this morning and saw that my next trip north isn't until the 26th of July for my grandmother's 80th birthday party. What this means is that I won't be seeing any of my friends from Portland until then because if I want to see them, I have to make the effort and the 2 hour drive. Are you feeling the love? Yeah, me neither. I don't register on their social radar primarily because I'm what's known as a "fringe friend." I've known that group for about 5 years and know some of them pretty well, but because I don't live up there, I'm out of sight and therefore out of mind. Weird thing is, when I show up at a show or something, everyone seems happy to see me and asks why I haven't been around like they don't know I live 2 hours away or something. I'm always invited to the parties and I always have a place to stay. So, if I'm so dang popular, why isn't anyone seeking me out or visiting me? *sniffle*

Caught on tape

Last Friday, I received a box in the mail from a friend in Detroit. About 3 years ago, I went to NYC with a bunch of people and some of the debauchery was video taped. A copy of the tape was in the box and at first I was afraid to watch it. I knew there would be some funny stuff on it, but it was three years ago and I half expected an hour of "Girls Gone Wild" style action. As it turns out, there's some cool footage of the NYC skyline at night shot from a disco party cruise around Manhattan (including the Twin Towers), an impromptu techno sing-along, a bunch of people hanging out in a hotel and cracking each other up, and only a few minutes of chicks making out with each other right at the end. The alcohol is flowing throughout the whole tape and since it's bits and pieces of a three-day weekend, it turned out like a really generic "Real World" episode. All in all, it's pretty funny schtuff. Made me miss those crazy kids...

Elbow

I was hanging out with some friends in Portland last weekend and was introduced to the music of Elbow. Gotta find their album now. I listened to a few songs with Dan, who was in town for the weekend from Indiana and was the drummer for the now defunct American Girls, and Jason, who saw Elbow live at Berbati's Pan in Portland and plays guitar for The Bella Fayes. Even before they played some of the cd, I knew I'd like this band...Jason couldn't say enough about how amazing they are and sat me down to listen to his favorite song on the album "Newborn." Dan just made a point of saying the band's name over and over to drill it into my head. Thanks guys...I've been in need of trustworthy music mentors. Now, I'm on the hunt for it locally and no one around here knows what I'm talking about even though they were nominated for a Brit award and Mercury's Best New Artist of 2002.... But I will find it. Oh yes I will. Dan might kick my ass next time he's in town if I don't....

Spoon!!!

Who's extra huggable? Who's irresistably snuggly when she's sleeping? Who's got the bust-waist-hip proportions to make a perfect full body pillow? Yeah, that'd be me. Who knew? I guess I must look extra cute when I'm sleeping or something. Huh. Not that I'm complaining. I actually like it and sleep surprizingly well with someone's arms around me. Anyone looking for a professional spoonee?

Tastes like chicken

I read once that every year, people swallow an average of 8 spiders. Like in their sleep or something. No, really, it's true. Ask my friend Chris..... *cracking up*

Sibling Revelry

My sister is somewhere in Brazil right now and I'm not. She sucks. Since I'm not enjoying myself in a foreign country, I guess I'll have to recount some of the "incidents" of our youth. I have to keep reminding myself that I'm the older sibling because some of these are classic older sibling torture techinques...

1986: My sister comes out of the bathroom wrapped in a towel and I'm coming out of my room at the other end of the hall. She turns around, bends over and grabs her bare butt cheeks and says, "Look at this studio, filled with fabulous prizes just waiting to be won on Wheel of Fortune!" I am traumatized.

1987: My sister has a nasty head cold and decides it would be fun to shove marbles up her snot filled nose and chase me around the house trying to shoot them at me. I am traumatized.

1988: My sister and I have on bikini tops and shorts and we're hanging out in our driveway with the boys who live next door. She decides it would be funny to pull my top off. I am traumatized.

1988: My sister has come into my room for reasons unknown and a fight ensues. I try to hold her back and get kicked repeatedly in the head and stomache. I get in trouble when my sister starts yelling. I am traumatized.

1994: My sister is in the passenger seat and I'm driving. We're waiting in the parking lot where our mom works to pick her up and listening to the radio. She changes the station, I change it back, a few more changes and a fight ensues. I get a slap in the face and a smug look. I slap her back and say, "Don't do it again." She gets out and walks home. I am vindicated.

Cardboard and duct tape

Have you seen the video for that song "Days Go By" by Dirty Vegas? It's the coolest. Besides being a great dance song, the video actually has a romantic story: guy in a business suit walks up to the front of a corner market and puts down a huge boombox and some cardboard. He starts the song, busts out the old school breakdancing action and starts to draw a small crowd. One of the people watching starts telling the guy next to her the story of why the guy comes back on the same day every year and it's subtitled over the video. Anyhoo, it's simple and sweet. I wish someone would breakdance for me....

Sneaky bastards

Someone or something sneaks into my apartment when I'm not there during the day and changes the radio station on my alarm clock. I know I'm not changing the station in my sleep because it gets flipped to a 70's/80's classic (?) rock station and there's no way I want to wake up to that. So I think it must be the evil little buttrock loving trolls who live under my bed with the dustbunnies and lost shoes. Those guys are always messing with my stuff and I've about had it. I still can't find my kitchen scissors or that box of strike anywhere matches. And now they're playing with the radio. I actually had to spend my first conscious moments of today being aurally violated by "Carry On My Wayward Son." Yesterday was "Sweet Home Alabama".......guh. I thought I was having a bad dream where I was forced to buy mulitple copies of that Freedom Rock album in the infomercials. It was a sick, sad way to start the day. No wonder I wanted to be someone else yesterday. Damn trolls.

Altered Ego

I always wanted to be a famous artist and have a pseudonym. I think it must have something to do with the idea that things would be easier, more fun, etc, if I was someone else. Or rather, if people thought I was someone else. So I was reading this book called Shooting Elvis and the main character's name stuck in my head (the chick accidentally blows up LAX, so the rest of the story stuck in my head as well). Nina Zero. So I'm using it. Am I anything like the character? Nah... I've never blown anything up, not even by accident. I've never been to jail and I've never killed anyone. I've never been a photographer and I've never been "on the run." I don't have an affinity for "bad boys" and I have a pretty decent relationship with my parents. I've never married anyone, for money or for love, and I've never sold any of my art to the tabloids. I'm still gonna use her name. It's got a nice ring to it and since she took the name (changed it from Mary Alice Baker) when she needed to become someone else, it's got the right credentials.

When I'm a famous artist (paintings, writing, whatever...), just remember that you knew me before I was Nina Zero. 'Cause she'll probably write about you or mention your name in an interview or dedicate her first gallery show to you... and if for some strange reason something gets accidentally blown up, you can always say, "Nina who?"

Land of the free since when?

My current lack of fundage has started to bring me down. I've become sensitive to demands for the money that I don't have (but know I owe) and the stuff I never though twice about paying whatever it cost now seems ridiculously expensive. Point in case: cereal. Dude, $4.89 for a box of Mini Shredded Wheat? C'mon! That's highway robbery! $5.19 for Frosted Flakes? Tony the Tiger can pucker up and kiss my ass. $4.29 for Granola?? That stuff looks like it was already eaten and then shat out by hamsters.

The other thing that irks my tater is so called fast food. The drive thru is always slower than going in and either way, it's definitely not fast. They all have "value meals" and I'm just not seeing the savings the title implies. Five bucks and changes gets me the same thing I used to pay three bucks for and is there more food? More drink? More anything? Not a chance. In fact, I think the burgers are smaller and the fry boxes are less full. It all tastes like ass unless you're drunk and desperately starving anyway.

Is anything I need free? I think not. Damn money grubbing corporate comglomerates with your flashy advertising and crappy products you make me think I need. Screw you guys.

Can't win 'em all

My softball team got spanked last night. And I don't mean that in an ooh-baby-I've-been-a-naughty-girl kind of way. Ugh. Ah well, at least I got home in time to catch the last half of the last NBA finals game. Lakers swept the series. Woo! So, to sum up my feelings about yesterday's events, I've written this haiku:

softball game sucked ass
The Lakers won all four games
wish Kobe could pitch

Caffeinated

A big bar of chocolate, 2 Mt Dews and a caramel frappuccino. Can you feel the sugar/caffeine high? I know I didn't have this much energy yesterday... Am I typing really fast? Hey, can you hear that? It's like a humming, high pitched buzzing sound.... No? Huh. So, I don't know what happened, but it's hard to stay focused... it's like attention deficit or something. Wait, what? Oh. No, I don't normally have this much sugar/caffeine in my system. But it's fine. Not a problem. That stuff doesn't really affect me. Is it hot in here? Are you hot? Gawd, it's like a sauna or something... What's today? Wednesday? Right, softball game tonight. Basketball game to watch. Hey, did I tell you some people I know put out their band's first cd? The Bella Fayes. Listening to it right now. Track 5, "poolside" is my favorite. Is anyone going to Taco Bell for lunch? I could go for a burrito right about now... Huh? Yeah, I'm fine. Are you fine? 'Cause I'm fine....

Cinema bizarro

So thanks to my partner in slacking Chris, I finally watched Memento last night. Definitely worth seeing again so I'm glad I own it. Yeah, I bought it without seeing it. I'd been told so many times that I'd love it, I figured what the hell. Good call, amigos! Gotta like Guy Pearce....

Also, but totally unrelated, there was a partial solar eclipse yesterday. I pulled out the bigger of the two telescopes I have and took a peek, but using a moon filter instead of a sun filter (which I don't have) really wasn't the best way to go. Anyhoo, since they don't happen very often and when they do they're only visible from certain parts of the world, it was pretty cool. I called a bunch of people and let them know they should be outside checking it out (and reminding them not to stare directly at the sun...duh). So, unless you're Chris, if I didn't call you and you missed it, I obviously don't have your phone number and I blame you.

Would you believe...

I've actually watched the first three NBA finals games and I'm kinda jazzed about the game on Wednesday? Yep, it's true. I had an interesting conversation the other weekend with some folks up north in the wee hours of the morning about the pros and cons of watching sports on tv. One Mr. Holbrook was so passionate about his love of the game that I had to see for myself what the big deal was. Turns out, I actually like watching basketball. It's like watching a really aggressive, full contact ballet. Now, I'm not saying I'm gonna become one of those obsessive, crazed fans who paint their faces and run around the parking lot buck naked, but I could stand to watch a game here and there. And I wouldn't say no to hanging out on a Sunday afternoon with a bunch of people to watch a game, eat some pizza and drink some beer. No, sitting around watching sports isn't getting the world any closer to a cure for cancer or feeding starving children in Somalia, but if all the people who were out fighting wars would put down their M-16s, grab a brewski and watch a game with their enemies, well....that would be step in the right direction.

Cliches

How do you know which cliches are true? I always thought cliches were just poetic observations about the human condition, but I'm finding some contradict others. Point in case: "out of sight, out of mind" and "absence makes the heart grow fonder." I don't get it. I know all kinds of people about whom the first adage would apply (I like to call them my ADD friends) but I've always been a victim of the second unless I try to block something out on purpose. Makes me think I'm surrounded by self absorbed people while I spend all sorts of time thinking about everyone but myself. But wait, there's more! Is it just me or does everyone else's head and heart brawl on a regular basis? I can see how they could both be true, but my mind and my heart aren't separate entities. The constant internal struggle between them keeps the people and things that have a piece of my heart in my head all the time. Maybe I'm just a sappy sentimentalist, though....

cough, cough, sniffle

If I tap my Airwalks together three times and say, "I don't have a cold. I don't have a cold." will I be magically transported back to the land of the physically well?

Say, that's a big head you've got there

Remember those old pictures from the late 60's/70's of the kids or animals with the REALLY big heads and eyes? Yeah, those used to creep me out too. But now, I kinda like them. Steve Madden, the shoe guy, started running a series of ads with the same kind of chicks - big heads, big eyes, big shoes and little dinky bodies - a couple years ago. I've been seeing these freakishly large heads and eyes all over the place now. Toys, ads, and even pop stars have these really gigantic heads. This is what got me started in the first place today...

Oh yeah, this is funny stuff too. Totally unrelated to big heads, but funny.

Yep, that's right

It's time for a change. Welcome to my new and improved, vitamin fortified, extra whitening, tartar fighting, nutritious part of your daily balanced diet blog with a prize in every post. Collect them all! Now available in tropical fruit and very berry flavors. Woo!

I had a rant of epic proportions about the fickle nature of the human species planned for this entry, but last night I had a little powwow with the magnets on my fridge and decided that there will be no more pissing and moaning about ridiculous dating shyte for this girl. No sir. I refuse to whine about things I can't control. From now on, I'm all about partying like a rockstar. Ok, so I was all about partying like a rockstar before, but I whined about it later like it wasn't my idea in the first place. No more of that nonsense here, my little chicklets. Only sunshine and rainbows and baby ducks and hangover free mornings. I'm on a mission now, amigos. Don't try to stop me. Living vicariously through others because it's easier than living my own life is no longer on the agenda. Every chance I get, I'm gonna get fired up and do something new. Like Silent Bob says, "Do or do not; there is no try."

Huh.

The weekend was..... strange. Nice, but strange. Went up to P-town after work on Friday and met up with Matt and Jason, friends from college that I haven't seen since New Year's, at a bar in southeast. The Rose Festival started Friday, so parking downtown was a pain in the ass and I finally ended up getting to the club for the show at quarter to 10. The first two bands are friends with the guys I'd gone up to see so the after party was huge. Before my friends played their set, I got to talk to them for awhile and then ran into a guy I recognized from doing theatre in college. That was a little surreal, but after a few beers, it was all good. The show rocked and everyone was fired up to party until 6 in the morning. I had called dibs on the spare room when I first got back to the house, but got vetoed at 5:30am when I found two guys from one of the other bands passed out in there. Spent the next 1/2 hour talking to Mr. Crush and we crashed in his room a little after 6. His brother had written and he had illustrated a children's story a few years ago that he read to me before we went to sleep.... FYI, if anyone is looking to steal my heart, read to me. If it's something you've written, that's even better. Melts me everytime. Anyway, 4 hours later the first alarm goes off so Mr. Crush can make it to work on time and he asks what my plan is for the day. I didn't have one but thought I'd hang out for the cd release party his brother's other band was playing that night, so he said I should come hang out at OMSI and since he works there, he'd get me in to whatever I wanted to see. That worked for me so I got up with him, he left for work and I headed off to Noah's to get breakfast to take over there since we got up 15 minutes before he had to start work. I tooled around the museum, watched the IMAX movie and headed downtown for awhile until it was time to meet back at the house. I'd picked up food from the place a few blocks down called Dot's (a sandwich and greasy cheese fries - yum!) and brought it back to share. Hung out and talked until about an hour before the show and we headed back to Dot's for a drink with a couple other people to get the party started again. The cd release party was packed when we got there so we all ended up moving to the back of the bar. The band was really good and when the show ended at around 1:30, we all decided to just get more beer and go back to the house to hang out. Got into some heavy discussion about all kinds of stuff (surprizingly in depth, coherent, intelligent conversation for a bunch of drunk people) and again, didn't get to sleep until 6am, although I was by myself in the spare room since the house was mostly empty. Finally got up at 1pm Sunday and no one else was up yet, so I went into Mr. Crush's room and said a quick goodbye so I wouldn't wake up his brother.

All I know now is everytime I hang out up there, it gets harder and harder to leave.