Everything is chaotic....where's my beer?

An official moving date has been set for one week from today. Holy crap. I spent most of yesterday sorting through stuff and throwing away junk that should have gone in the garbage a long time ago. Today, I get to pick up a change of address packet from the post office, call U-Haul to reserve a truck for next Wednesday, start cleaning out my bathroom and sort through my books and baubles to decide what's going into storage. Ugh. I also found out that the letter I got from the unemployment office is just a preliminary summary of POTENTIAL benefits and I won't know until next week if I'll get them or not. If I do, I'll just get a check. If I don't, I'll just get a letter saying I've been denied and then I get to go through the appeal process. D'oh. I'm keeping my fingers crossed for the check. And a magic fairy to show up and grant me three wishes.

Last night, I got to thinking about all of the things I'm leaving behind and the reality of the move hit pretty hard. I've spent the last couple days on the verge of tears that I've willed away because I just can't deal with an emotional breakdown this week. Used to be that my tears were the only thing I couldn't control and lately it's seems like they're the only thing I have any control over. There are too many things in flux at the moment and for someone like me, who functions much better when there's a definite plan and I have my life together, this is really hard. I know it's not that far away and my friends in Portland are totally supportive. And I know that this move is going to be really good for me. But I'm going to miss my family and friends here like crazy and the comfort zone I've built for myself here is going to take some time to establish up there. I'm going back to being a little fish in a big pool and I'm standing at the edge of a diving board that seems really high right now.