Kicking Bad Karma's ass

You know that deal where bad things happen in threes? Well, I think I had my three all within about a week and there should be nothing but good karma coming my way for awhile. And on that note, I have a request for whomever is doling out good karmic vibes:

Dear Sir or Madam,
In this time of unusually overwhelming stress, I would like to humbly request that Cupid pay a little visit to J. If Cupid could take him out in the alley and beat him severely about the head or stick an army boot in his ass, I'd really appreciate it. Since matters of the heart are somewhat out of my control, it would be really swell if someone could make this work out for me, thereby reducing the overall chaos that my world is currently experiencing. I know you're busy, but I wouldn't ask if it wasn't important. Thanks!!!

~Nina