It's just too hard...

Spent a portion of last night having an imaginary conversation with ____ and hashing out all of the things I need to just get some cajones and say to him in person. When you care about someone and don't get that feeling back, it makes you rethink why you care in the first place. I came to the conclusion that it just isn't supposed to be this hard. Maintaining a friendship isn't supposed to be this hard. Having a normal conversation isn't supposed to be this hard. Loving someone isn't supposed to be this hard.

I can't figure out if I'm just frustrated and need to change my approach to the whole thing or if I need to be done with it altogether because the relationship has run it's course and we've grown apart. I know I need to stop internalizing everything and I should have said all of the things I've held back a long time ago, but I had pretended not to care for so long that I even had myself convinced. Until New Year's. Something snapped and I've been an emotional mess since then. And I know that the only solution is to tell him everything and be done with it. Ugh....why does everything about being an adult have to be so hard?