A letter to my sister and other goofy junk

If you don't already think I have a few screws loose, the hoodlyhoo you're about to read should clear that right up. The following is an e-mail I sent to my sister, who has a tendency to fall off the planet for weeks on end, telling her what I really think:

Ok, what tha hell...you don't write, you don't call....people are wondering if you're still alive!!! What da dilly yo??? Anyway, your sister misses you or something so you'd better quit being an H to the izz O....and REPRESENT, know what I'm sayin'??!! I know you're out there rollin' with the homies and flashing the bling-bling around the bougie cruise ship, but put down the gin and juice long enough to prove those mad e-mailing skills...word. Peace and booty grease, my sistah...I'm out. MC Tricky T

I swear, I crack myself up. Anyway, it was brought to my attention today that I *am* a rockstar. And since I always say I'm going to go party like a rockstar, it was fitting that I should have a can of the energy drink called Rockstar proudly displayed on my desk for all to see. And what's their tagline? "Party like a rockstar." Nice one. I know they'll be calling me any day now to shoot a commercial and set up the promotional tour.....yeah. Rock on.