Hole in my heart

I have this weird feeling that I'm missing something. When you spend so long feeling hurt by someone and you suddenly end that part of the relationship, there's a strange void that's left. I got so used to feeling bad that now, while a big part of me is feeling really good about finally sticking up for myself, I sort of miss feeling bad. Ok, no, I obviously don't want to feel bad and I certainly didn't enjoy being treated like crap. What I miss is that comfort zone....knowing that someone was making me feel something. Yes, that feeling was horrid and hellacious and I resent him for taking advantage of my caring more than I should have. I would never wish what I went through on anyone (even though I recognize the whole thing as a learning experience). But now I feel nothing. Just blah. I'm not close enough with any one guy that it matters to me what any of them do or don't do. So, there's the hole. And I don't know how to fill it or even if it should be filled. I know I'm not willing to replace one bad situation with another just to have someone close to me. I guess that's progress, eh?