Everyone Says The Same Thing

I am apparently the worst at hiding emotions. Even when I haven't said anything about how messed up I'm feeling, my friends know. The ones who don't read this and ask how things are going, I mean. They've all said I don't sound like my normal self and want to know if I'm ok. I've gotten in the habit over the years of saying that I'm fine (which I suppose is just wishful thinking about when I will be) and then explaining what's going on to make me sound "not ok." The last two days, after giving the Reader's Digest Condensed version of the story, I've gotten the same response from everyone: don't worry about it, he'll be back. I don't know why it's so hard to believe them...

Anyway, I'm supposed to be hanging out with Owen today. It was raining earlier this morning but if it stays clear like it is now, I'd suggested wandering around somewhere so I'm wishing the clouds away. I always have a good time with him even if we're just sitting around doing nothing. Funny how that works now after having such a rocky history together and having been hurt so badly by him way back when. I guess it's always been in my nature to forgive and give people multiple chances to mess up and still keep trusting them if they've managed to get close to me. There aren't many people whom I'd consider "in" but I've learned that if they can hurt me, they must be in or I wouldn't care and therefore wouldn't be hurt.