Damn, damn, damn

When I didn't know what I was missing, things were so much easier. Hang out with me or don't, call me or don't....it didn't matter. Now I feel like a drug addict - I had a taste of the sweet stuff and I'm hooked. I wasn't lonely before because I didn't have anyone to be lonely for..... Now, I'm just melancholy a lot and my heart jumps every time an e-mail pops up or the phone rings. I pushed away anyone who tried to touch me or peek into my head before and now I can't seem to get close enough or give enough of myself. I used to build the wall higher and higher to keep people out before, but now I've not only torn it down, I've layed out a red carpet to make getting in a cake walk. Am I missing something? Is there anything more I could be doing? Could I be any more vulnerable? Throw me a bone, for cripe's sake.....