Wanted: partner in crime

One of these days, I'm going to be really, really bad. I'm gonna be so bad, people walking toward me on the street will cross and walk on the other side just to avoid my badness. People will call me a hooligan and curse the parents that brought a kid that bad into the world. Circle Ks and 7-11s will have a little photo of me near the register to warn the checkers not to let me touch the Slurpee machines or the nacho cheeze dispensers. I'm gonna be so bad that dogs will run away from me with their tails between their legs and little children will cry and hide behind their mothers. I'm gonna wear bad clothes and have bad hair and have a badass pet monkey. My name and bad will one day be synonymous. Hmm, then I'd be Michael Jackson and that would be bad. Better stick to what I know and keep being good....