Strange things are afoot

I think I've been abducted by aliens and replaced with an eerily-similar-but-not-quite-right clone. The last few months have been a departure from the normal quiet life I'm used to living and the only logical explaination is that I'm just not myself. This past weekend is just another prime example, but since it was clearly the result of an alien abduction, the government has requested that I issue the following statement for the press:

We are unaware of any extraterrestrial activity at this time. The US Air Force was running a series of tests on a new stealth aircraft and the incident yesterday morning was the result of technical difficulties that were beyond our control. There were no casualties or injuries and all personel involved have been given clearance to return to duty. We are currently working on the technical problem and will continue to issue updates as new information becomes available. Again, we would like to stress that the incident was not in any way related to extraterrestrial activity. Thank you.