There's more where that came from

I'm reading this book I picked up at Powell's the other day call Pretty Vs. Smart by Valerie Frankel and it's got me thinking about my sister. The story revolves around two sisters who run a small coffee shop together and are trying to compete with the Moonstruck (read: Starbucks) that moved in just down the street. The older sister is "the smart one" and the younger sister is "the pretty one." As the story progresses, you come to understand a mutual jealousy over the labels... which I've found to be the norm since bearing one label is somehow indicative of lacking the quality the other possesses. Circumstances and setting aside, the relationship is my sister's and mine to a tee. I overheard so many times during my childhood at parent-teacher conferences, school plays, etc., "Mrs. Krell, your daughter Tiffany is such a bright, gifted child. It's a pleasure to have her in my class." I also overheard family and friends telling my folks, "Brandy is so cute! She's going to be a little heartbreaker when she grows up." In high school, I had my nose in a book more often than not and when I was being social, it was with the student council or the AP English class for a project or the thespian society doing behind-the-scenes work for the next school play. My sister was a cheerleader. 'Nuff said. She's been engaged once and lived with her finacee until she broke it off. She's dated some of the guys she works with on the Disney cruise and has never seemed to have a lack of admirers interested in taking her out. I, on the other hand... well, if you've read back a few entries, you already know I'm lacking in the romance department.

Near the end of college, I had moved back in with my family and had let my sister read my journal. That was the catalyst for a long overdue conversation about the labels and how we both to some degree felt it and tried to break out of the stereotype. She told me she felt she had to compete with me for grades (though we were almost 4 years apart and I was away at college while she was in high school) and always pushed herself to do better than I did...to compete with "the smart one." I was always trying to fit in by getting involved in theater and begging for the same clothes my friends wore and...well, competing with "the pretty one." She thought I hated her and I thought she was embarrassed to be seen with me. Funny how that works, huh?

Our relationship now as adults is pretty good, I think. We're supportive of each other and have genuine interest in each other's life. She isn't around much because she lives and works on the other side of the country and I'm sorry for the distance as I know we have much more in common now than we did as kids. I'm sure if we lived closer, we'd be shopping buddies and hang out at clubs or coffee shops together. As it is, we don't talk that often and her visits are getting fewer and further between.

Anyway, check out the book. It's a quick read and it's entertaining...