Floored

Around 6ish last night, O. called and asked what I was doing for the rest of the evening. A few minutes later the plan was for him to come over and we'd make a plan then. I was a little surprised that he didn't already have plans with his girlfriend Jody, but she had said she was going straight home from work and going to sleep, so he had nothing to do. We went to Than Thao, a little Vietnamese/Thai restaurant over on Hawthorne, and when I said I'd never been there, he looked at me like I'd been living in a cave since 1983. I offered to kick his ass since he was due, we went in, got seated, scanned the menus and ordered. Next thing I know, I'm in The Godfather and he's saying in his best raspy Marlon Brando voice, "So, I've called you here for a reason..." We both laughed, but I could see he actually had something to say so I was a little apprehensive. O. and I have a long and tainted history (it'll be 10 years on Thursday and this is the guy who put me off of men for so long) and we've had our share of emotional blowups that usually stem from trying to define our relationship, which was a sketchy subject several years back. He used to be really bad about dealing with conflict and expressing how he felt and I would get frustrated to the point of tears trying to get him to talk to me. Things have been really good since a long overdue reaming I gave him earlier this year and we're both in a good place about our friendship. So when he said, "No, seriously, I need to say something to you...," I was dreading the next thing to come out of his mouth. Ever the cynic, I assumed it would be bad. Turned out to be an apology for treating me like crap and being a shitty friend for all these years. He said he'd been thinking about how he doesn't call people back right away (sometimes ever) and usually doesn't think twice about it, but with me, he wants to be a better friend and is going to make more of an effort. I didn't really know what to say. He was acknowledging 10 years of taking me for granted and treating me like crap and I just sat there with my mouth open. Somehow, the conversation went back to lighthearted banter, we got our food, ate, boxed up the leftovers and got the check. Coincidentally, his fortune cookie said, "Treat others as you would treat yourself." That had us laughing again and we went back to my house to watch Castaway. As he was leaving to meet Jody at his house, he thanked me for having dinner with him and for the movie and we agreed to keep each other in the plans for Thursday.

I know now what I should have said... He shared a vulnerable moment of personal growth with me and I should have said thank you.